sad snowflakes

Is it allowed to post twice in one day? i guess it is since it's my blog. technically I can post whenever I want. It's funny how these blogs work to me. We are writing and for who? Who reads this or does anyone read this. Anyway, it's just funny to me. These are odd times we are living in.

I've been sad lately. Not sure why. Maybe it's the cold weather that's creeping in my veins. Maybe it's that time of the year when I always get sad ( as stupid as that sounds). it's a sadness with no definition and that's what's frustrating. It's like this hazy fog that can't be explained. Sometimes it's so thick and heavy I can't even get a deep breath. And for what? I have nothing to be sad about really. I am blessed. I have a good life. an amazing boyfriend who is very patient and understanding. a supportive family. but still the sadness. it's there. some day I have the energy to push it aside and other days, like today, I just surrender and let it seep in. Some times I think: maybe I'll learn something or maybe it will just feel good to dwell in this for a while. It feels about as good as jumping in a lake in Michigan in mid-December. Cold. Yeah, I'm ready for spring. New beginning. New buds that will bring forth amazing flowers and colorful petals and leaves. new birth. It's almost as if part of myself dies at winter's end and God gives me another chance for happiness again. I know that may sound whimsical or cheesy but that's how it feels.

Can you imagine what my life would have been like if I had moved to Boston? Buie just asked me this the other day and I haven't really stopped to think about it until now. A lot of things would be different. I would have a whole new life and my friends here would a thing of the past. I'm not sure if Buie and I would have dove into the long distance thing either. I tried that once. I'm not good with long distance. And talk about cold. I don't think I'm made for cold weather. I keep hoping everyday that I put on my heavy coat and scarf that today might be the last time I'll wear this until next year...but alas, I woke up today to snowflakes!! Spring better be amazing, that's all I'm saying.