Wednesday, August 27, 2008

the story you've all been waiting for...

Well, due to an overwhelming response from my "fans" here is the story of the voodoo witch and the mean right hook.

It all began last Thursday in the Social Security offices in downtown Little Rock. As I walked in two women and a little girl walked out of the offices. I noticed them but paid no attention to them, as they were leaving. I, being the good law-abiding citizen that I am, came in quietly to the Social Security office and took a number. (For time's sake I will refer to the Social Security offices as SS office from now on...just so there's no confusion.) Almost immediately after taking a number, I noticed that one of the ladies I passed on my way in was now coming back into the SS offices. I noticed immediately how tall she was and how she walked with a ...shall we say, attitude. This woman was told numerous times by a federal security guard to take a number and sit down but she refused. Apparently she had given a wrong address on her SS form and wanted to change it. But unlike the others and myself who were waiting patiently for there turn, this lady refused. I guess she though because she had already been in the office then she was some how exempt from waiting in line.

The next thing I knew, words (not very nice ones) were being thrown around. Oh, and I need to mention at this time that the federal security officer was also in fact a woman. I'm sure why or how but that just makes the story so much better. As the security guard tried to escort this woman out, I saw a very long and very mean fist come flying through the air and land on the face of the security guard. Whoah! I sat there in disbelief and the two women battled it out. One punch after the next. You see, I went to school at a private school in a very small town. I can honestly say, I have never witnessed a real fight before. I didn't know what to do. It was like a train wreck. I tried not to look but I couldn't help it. It was too good not to watch.

It took two men security guards to get this lady off of the other security guard. She was slapping, throwing punches and meanwhile yelling out something I've KNOW I've never witnessed before. She kept telling the guards that she was a witch so they had better beware! Seriously! I mean, I can't make this stuff up, people!

There was blood everywhere! The injury list included busted teeth, mutiple abrasions and cuts to the face and arms and possible a broken wrist belonging to the lady security officer.

Once they got to crazy lady in handcuffs, I saw a sight that should only be seen on movies like "The Omen" or a Jerry Springer episode. The voodoo queen started smearing her legs and feet in her own blood which I might add was everywhere! I kept saying outloud "Seriously?!" Whether it was to myself or to God or to the people around me, I am still not sure. But I still can't believe what I saw. The amount of blood that was on the floor looked like someone had lost a limb.

They called my number. Again, I tried to pull my eyes away from the train wreck but it was impossible. They dragged her, kicking and screaming and most likely casting spells, to the cop car where there were many of Little Rock's finest just waiting for her.

So, does it end there? Um...not quite.

You've now heard my version of what happened which is truthfully exactly what happened. Now you should read HER version if you haven't already done so. What it sad about this whole situation is that someone may end up losing their job because they were trying to DO their job. This lady claims that she was beat by a federal security officer. Unbelievable! Where is the class people? Where is the acknowledgement of your own wrong doing? And in this particular case, where is the sanity in the world anymore?

Read her version here.

Read my friend Ryan's blog about it.

Oh and I can't believe I forgot to mention there was a wig involved. Anytime there is a wig invovled you know it's going to be a good story. (This also applies to men's toupees.)

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